Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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