Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
