What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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