Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
