Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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