Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
