thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
