well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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