Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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