Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
