I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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