I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
