i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
