Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
