Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
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