I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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