so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
