A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
