Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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