remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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