Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize