Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
