Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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