Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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