i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i believe in u and ur pee
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Such a big mess for such a small penis
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
