kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
