:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
