I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
