pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize