One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
