I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
