singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
