The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
