I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
