Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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