he referred to my room as the tit cave...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
