Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
