How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
