i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
