A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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