are you so shy because you have an std?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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