You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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