Dual....:-)
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
