remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
