is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
