Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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