it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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