I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
