I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
