Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
