I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
