my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
