we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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