you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
