My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
