with your own penis?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
