hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
