sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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