I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
