walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
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The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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