I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
