ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
